Raboisei WE NEED MONEYYY

God loves his chosen nation, and as a loving father he always helps his children. Or does he?

A couple of weeks ago in shul, the president got up to the podium to make some announcements, thanking certain members, and announcing the weekly schedule. The main point of his speech was to talk about the financial situation of the shul. The president was raving about what a wonderful place this shul is, what a great and caring rabbi we have, the daily services, and so on. As he was getting more and more fired up about his beloved shul, he made a fist and pounded on the podium – his face all red – as he finally reached the main message he was aiming for. “But ladies and gentlemen” he now continued one word at a time, stressing his punch line: “WE NEED MONEYYY – WE NEEEED MONEYYY TO CONTINUE ALL THIS” as he landed both of his fists really hard on the podium once again.

Pounding with ones fists or waving them in the air is classic for for delivering a speech by frum people, and of course shukeling is too (shukeling means shaking ones entire body back and forth and sideways too as you talk.) Perhaps it is supposed to remind your soul of the feeling it felt when god came down on Mount Sinai, thundering and rumbling. Who would not be touched when their soul feels, to it's core, those historic and emotional events that never took place at har sinai? As he continued his speech everyone was silent. In the silence, my thoughts began to wander, I began to think "he is so right, they need money, but…"
The Jews became a nation 4-500 years ago, when the Israelites left Egypt. Since the beginning of this religion, they have always needed money, but for some reason god never helped them financially.

According to the bible when the Jews were in the desert for 40 years they had to build the mishkan – tabernacle - to worship god and there were lots of different vessels they had to create for gods tabernacle. Let’s examine some of the so called miracles that supposedly took place during that time. Moses knew exactly what shapes and designs they needed to create for the different vessels because god presented them to him, in fire, in the exact shape and form. In the flames, god made the menorah and altars for Moses to see. He included all the bells and whistles of the models from little flowers to all the various shapes and designs. Moses was then to build them with gold, donated by all of the Jews at the time, which they had to give from their money and possessions.

According to the bible, the Israelites lived in the desert for 40 years surrounded by a bank of clouds to shield them from any harm. Yes it’s true; they were shielded by the clouds. Back in the days when there were no airplanes to fly through the clouds, at a time when we humans had no way of reaching such heights, whoever wrote the bible knew for a fact that clouds must be some very tough material, therefore, the clouds came down to make a smooth path for the Israelites in the desert and to shield them.

There was no food in the desert, so god gave them manna. They had manna rain down for all of their meals and it miraculously tasted like anything they wished for!

They had one set of clothing, which grew with them as they grew and aged. These are just some of the miracles that god created for the Isrealites as they wandered in the desert.

The god that was able to create the entire universe including gold; the god who was able to illustrate how a menorah or other items should be designed through fire; the god who was able to send the clouds down to pave the desert and move mountains to the side, so the Israelites could travel through the desert with ease and protection; the god who gave them Manna to keep them fed and hydtrated and had it have any taste they wished for; the god who made their clothing grow with them as they aged so it always fit perfectly; this same god was not able to get some gold through a miracle in the desert??? The only way to gather enough gold was by taking the jewelry and posessions of the Jews, and then melting it? Why is it that a miraculous supply of gold and materials for the tabernacle could not have happened? Do you know where the Jews had some of the jewelry from at the time? According to the torah, during the plague of darkness the Jews were able to take whatever they wanted from the Egyptians, and now they were able to contribute stolen gold to build the mishkan, which would then be one of the holiest sites in the world.

We work hard for our money. One cannot sit in shul and pray for money to fall out of the sky. That sort of miracle is only possible in story books. If we analyze prayer statistically, we would not find any evidence that god is answering prayers. According to the Hasidic belief and tales, god loves to hear us pray, he loves the tears of his children, and he wants them to pray to him. That is why he sometimes gives you grief because he wants you to talk to him; he wants to hear you cry. Doesn’t that seem odd? Would any sane person make his beloved child cry so that the child should communicate with the parent? Child protective services would take such a child from a parent in no time, and would be justified in doing so. All of the prayers in the world would not be convincing enough. He wants to hear you cry… Ironically, those that sit and pray do not make any money but those that work their butts off usually do. Earning money has no connection with prayer or crying. As a matter of fact, if you smile daily to your employer you have a greater chance of getting a raise then you do if you pray for it daily.

KE–HE –HE–SER!! I was jarred from my thoughts and brought back to shul, back from the deserts, gold, and clouds. My thoughts were in another part of the world at another time while I was sitting in shul, where there was just an appeal for money. But the speech was long over by now as they were moving on with the services. Keser – a crown - is a special prayer that they sing to god in shul, everyone stands while reciting that prayer. Keser is a part of prayer that the congregation sings out loud together, and they all try to outdo each other with their amazing operatic talents. Luckily, as a large group it doesn't sound to bad. The part of keser that brought me back to my present, describes how all the angels along with the people of the Jewish nation give a crown to god… which reminded me again of gold. I was reminded once again, and I still wonder why it is that god, who loves his children so dearly and wants to provide for them, would not help his beloved nation out a little financially so that wouldn’t have to scream out loud while banging with their fists and shukeling back and forth, yelling "Raboisei! WE NEED MONEYYY..."

Perhaps there is no god.

A very special thanks to my dear friend chanief for helping me edit my post.

Blurry women..

Hasisdic Rock star Michoel Shnitzler, made a break through in the frum community, he came out with a musical video on DVD titled Neshuma Flam, something that was unheard of before. He even has some women in this album BUT of course the faces are blurred out so that you dont get any unholy thoughts of course... Now really come on, whats the difference if you see a woman on the street or on A video?

I propose a better idea, why wont they make it into an interactive musical yet religious experience. This way the rabonim wont come out with an issur against his new album as an added bonus for him. Every time right before you can see a woman on the film, why dosent he like make a short stop, you can even show the peyis shaking back and forth, and tell everyone, ok together now, lets practice everyone, turn your head to the right so that you wont see the woman on the film. This way they can practice in the comfort of their homes not to look at women... and then the Hassids continue with their extraordinary performance.

Following is a clip from that video preview, oh and by the way, shhhhhh don't tell anyone, I was able to see part of the ear from the woman in the blue snood, and... i got turned on... see? i shouldn't have watched..

Enjoy.

Oh please Mr. Murderer… we beg you please help the innocent orphans…

We were all touched by the sad event that recently took place in Haiti. The horrific pictures of innocent people suffering, pictures of men women and children lying dead in the streets of Port-au-Prince as trash scattered on a windy day. The images of the injured, the heart breaking video clips through the news agencies. I remember watching A popular clip of A twelve year old girl that was being rescued while she was crying and begging for her parents, but they were nowhere to be found, sadly she died a few days after her rescue due to her injuries.

As sad as all this was, it was heartwarming to see how people from all over the world opened their wallets, and poured money to the various organizations, to reach out and support the Haitian people. Thousands of volunteers picked themselves up from all over the world, and went to a land where they do not know anyone, all they cared about was to help strangers with their skill and expertise, they went to help strangers that they probably will never know, and never see again. Last but not least, the prayers, thousands and thousands of people were praying for the victims, so the trapped ones should be found and the injured to be healed.

Did it cross their minds for a moment who they are praying to? Is there anyone listening to those prayers? Who is collecting those tears that may have been shed? Who is listening to all of this? There was a article online about the chief rabbi of England with nothing but good intensions that made a special prayer for the victims of Haiti that all of the Jewish community in England should reside the shabbos (Saturday) after the quake, in the prayer it reads "Almighty God, we beseech you, send comfort to the bereaved, and healing to the injured." Now that is a humble act, to pray on behalf of all the victims and God is the one and only that controls everything that happens, everything we do and everything we think, or who else would they pray to? For sure not the clouds cause that would not make any sense… Right? Doesn’t this sound a bit odd to pray to God? Isnt God the one that allowed the earthquake to take place? Isn't it God that allowed those people to get killed and injured in the first place? Why would he bother helping them after he made it happen? Isn’t he the one that made this whole thing happen in the first place?

I know the BS that everything is for the better good; everything happens for a reason but would you mind asking the survivors if they saw any better good in all of this? What did they benefit from this better good? They got nothing but dead or injured family members, hunger, starvation, damaged infrastructure from the little they had before this, ruined mom and pop shops ruined buildings, hospitals and schools. Should this be considered for the better good? To sum it up in one word hell is what they got. If he is so super, all he would have to do is use his incredible super power so that it should be pleasant, without people having to suffer. However, he did not and I think I know why, because this leads me to believe, that there is no god, there is no reason, no divine plans, no super powers, nothing, just nature at its worst.

What’s your opinion?